another week, a new beginning

Yesterday was difficult. We had a fabulous day, but boy really had a hard time of it. I cannot quite figure out why. He may have had some milk this weekend, but not enough to cause the issues we saw yesterday....let me explain.

First of all, we had a super busy weekend, which probably did not help matters. It was busy and chaotic and anxiety filled. Friday we had a ton of running around to do and the kids worked on cleaning the basement for a playdate they were having Saturday...overall Friday wasn't too bad, just busy.

Saturday we had ballet, then a bbq at my Grandma's senior center...this induced high anxiety because boy was certain there would be roller coasters. He was worried up until the point where he could actually see there were no roller coasters set up in the parking lot. After that we went home and awaited the arrival of his playdate...somewhat of an anxiety inducing moment as he was worried he would not have enough time to do everything he had planned. The playdate was inside and they were loud and rowdy, which doesn't bother me, but usually puts him in an elevated mood...he becomes overly loud, overly rowdy, overly anxious, overly sensitive, overly unfocused...everything just becomes over the top. It is really hard to bring him back down in this situation.

So Saturday was a late night, perhaps he didn't sleep well...which brings us into Sunday. Sunday we went to Frankenmuth to celebrate FIL birthday. Frankenmuth is boy's most favorite place to go...ever...E V E R! We used to go overnight at least 4 times a year. There is a strict routine to a Frankenmuth visit...very strict routine and it involves spending the night. We haven't gone in quite a while because he became so set on the routine that it really wasn't fun for us anymore because we wanted to veer off of his path and that was absolutely not allowed. So, we planned a day trip to Frankenmuth for dinner and explained ahead of time that we could not possibly stay. He seemed ok with that and didn't even ask to stay while we were there....but he was in an "out of control" state the entire time.

By out of control I mean unfocused, loud, couldn't listen to us, easily frustrated, easily angry...he even had a meltdown at the table and started punching himself in the head. I do not think this was milk related. I think this was strictly "Aspergers" related. I think that he was out of his element because we were in a place where he had a routine, but we weren't able to do that routine because we weren't spending the night. I also think that he was overly excited to go there since it had been so long....overall it was a very hectic day. He couldn't stop saying "pee" and "poop", he couldn't stop himself from squawking, he couldn't stop himself from melting and hitting himself...just overall hectic.

So, where do we go from here? Is there a solution to making this type of situation better? Was there something I could have done to prevent or control? Or, will these things just happen?

What is my goal with anything that we are doing for him? I don't think it is logical to try to "fix" (goes along the same lines of "curing" his Aspergers, which again I hate the term!)....what is it I am trying to do?

...I sat and thought on that question for quite some time...

I believe my goal is to help him learn to deal with it. Teach him how to self regulate himself. I need to keep reminding myself of that..I need to teach him how to self regulate himself. I cannot always modify the family schedule to be less hectic for him (sometimes yes, but it's not feasible always) instead he needs to learn how to cope with changes. He needs to get to a point where he can understand what he is feeling and know to excuse himself to adjust what he is feeling if needed. I will be successful if I can help him with that.

I think the biggest or most difficult thing to deal with with an Aspie kid is the fact that there are so many areas that we need to work on...there's sensory and emotional well being and helping with the lack of friendships and anxiety and handwriting and fixations and unflexibility and noise sensitivity and transition issues and whatever comes up tomorrow ...as a parent it is overwhelming to know what area to start with....I think that is where I am at...I think I am trying to tackle his Aspergers as a whole instead of focusing on one area at a time...not sure what the best approach is though and I doubt anyone really has an answer to that...