all we need is a little patience

"We could never learn to be brave & patient, if there were only joy in the world" ~ Helen Keller

Last night boy had a really hard time getting to bed. They had the day off of school yesterday and that, coupled with way too much milk this weekend, made him very restless.

At about 10:30 I was working on some stuff for Girl Scouts and he was still up obsessing over a handful of change that he was counting. Over and over again he counted this handful of change and kept interrupting what I was working on to discuss the handful of change. At 10:30 at night I was beyond tired, needed to get some other stuff done and was on my last bit of patience. I kept telling him "count it tomorrow, go to bed". I was completely missing the clues of anxiety hidden beneath his need to count this change over and over again.

I chanted over and over again "count it tomorrow, go to bed" when finally he came up to me and said "Mom, please count this for me. I can't get it out of my head until you count it.".

Wow.

How grown up of him. Of course I stopped everything and snapped back into "clued in" Mom mode realizing how I had been brushing off his anxiety to deal with my own agenda. We counted the change, still 95 cents the same as he had counted, and visibly relieved he trotted off to bed and voila! was asleep in no time.

I'm not always "clued in". Sometimes I forget. Sometimes at 10:30 at night I just want to deal with my own problems. And sometimes it just takes an extra 30 seconds to finish up whatever is on his mind so he can move on -- I have to remember that. I have to remember that he cannot just let something go.

Yesterday during the day he was cleaning the basement with his sisters. The girls had taken out his Star Wars toys, which clearly troubled him. Before he could officially put them into the bin he first needed to line them up, count them out, make sure that everything was in order. Of course it annoyed the girls to no end, but at the same time they understood that he just needed those few extra moments to make sure everything was ok with them before finishing up the task of putting them away.

Of course everything is at the extremes and the questions that always comes into play are: how do you teach him to control that "OCD" type quality? how do you help him find that happy medium?

I think that it begins with trying to control the anxiety...I think. At least that is what we are trying to work on the most because it seems the OCD'ness of these issues are based on a hidden anxiety...

Unfortunately it is all trial and error!

diary of a wimpy kid- an invasion!

We have been invaded by the biggest obsession in the history of boy's life! What is it? It's a book -- Diary of a wimpy kid.

Boy is addicted to say the LEAST! He cannot put the books down (sounds great so far), but the problem is that he cannot stop talking about each page. It has taken over his every thought. When he isn't reading the book, he's talking about it; he's drawing it; he's journaling it...again, may sound great, but not when it's verbatim from the book.

This obsession is his Aspergers at its best (or worst?).

What to do?
1. We are going to impose limits on his reading - wow, can you even believe I have to set limits on how long he reads?? If we don't make a rule for it, he can't put it down to go to sleep.
2. He cannot tell us every page as he reads it; instead he can only tell us about what he's reading every 5 pages.
3. For each 'chapter' he finishes and tells us about he needs to tell us a story similar to what he read.

The biggest issue that we see is that he just memorizes the book and repeats the book. Total lack of use of his imagination, which he needs to build upon.

However, it is amazing that reading would become such a huge obsession. He used to HATE reading! And it is amazing to see his comprehension skills increase so quickly - he's only been reading these since Sunday!

So, while there are drawbacks there also bonuses. One of the things I have learned with him is that he doesn't learn the way everyone else learns. We always have to think outside of the box to figure out ways for it to make sense to him...and when we find that 'a-ha' moment it feels better than anything else in the world!
This is an a-ha moment!

Chase the HOPE for autism -- please vote!

The most amazing video

One of the most astounding facts from the video...
1980 1 in 5000 children
1990 1 in 1000 children
2000 1 in 500 children
2007 1 in 150 children
2010 1 in 110 children

Please show your support and vote on facebook for this wonderful cause.

Please vote here

no matter...

no matter how irrational or crazy it may seem...it really was important for us NOT to throw away boy's holed up gringy icky socks. Even though he has several other pairs that are in perfect condition and the same as the ones that needed tossing...to him, the holed up gringy icky socks held a special spot in his heart and the very idea of tossing them in the trash was more than he could handle...meltdown ensued.

It makes no sense to me. It will never make sense to me. But to him, it all makes perfect sense and to him, those socks have a heart and have been with him through many fun adventures, evident by the holed up gringy icky'ness of them.

So, what can you do? Don't throw the socks out, let the tears subside...and pray that someday you will be able to ditch those gringies...

..but even then I know he will count his socks and figure out they are missing!

Bowl for autism

From the Judson Center website Bowl for Autism
January 19th, 2010 07:00 pm
Location:	Fountain View Lanes
Address:	34244 Groesbeck Clinton Twp., MI, 48035
Event Description:	A donation of $20 includes: 2 games of bowling (9 pin no tap), shoes, pizza, and mystery games. 50/50, and raffle tickets for GREAT prizes will be available.
Contact Info:	visit www.rideforautism.com
Related Documents:	Bowl form autism registration form

amazing memory skill

“A smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime.” ~ Unknown

Boy has an amazing memory skill. First of all, he has always been able to memorize anything and everything; songs, movies, stories - all word for word and sometimes after only seeing/hearing it once. Well, his new memory skill is with days of the week. He has an absolute fascination with what day a date falls on and has started memorizing them.

I knew that this skill was growing for him, but had NO idea how far it had come! He used to say things like "last year on this date it was a Tuesday and we did a, b, c", but now it has gotten to the point where you can give him a date and he can tell you what day of the week it was this year and what it will be next year.

It's truly amazing to watch him do it and he pretty rarely gets stumped!!