I think things are becoming overwhelming at school for boy. I am going to email the teacher after this blog. It seems like he comes from school and just becomes out of control kid, which I think is a reaction to trying so hard to keep it together all day. It has to be a lot for a kid to try to bear.
So, because of the fact that he comes home and turns into a tangled mess of unfocused'ness, he cannot sit to work on homework and he melts down super easily. Tonight we are going to try to not do homework directly after school and instead let him have some playtime first. I now recall his therapist suggesting that immediately after school he goes to his room and gets to play with whatever he wants until he feels as though he has unwound himself enough, with no interruption from the girls. We have tried to implement it with him, but he insists that he does not need to do that. Today I am going to insist that he try it out.
Another thing that is becoming increasingly more difficult is the fact that our morning routines are completely out of control. We have a pretty simple routine that is charted out for him to follow and everything works well up until showertime -- he gets up, lets the dog out, eats breakfast and takes a shower...
...when he gets out of the shower, he gets out as a totally different kid! I wonder if it is the water that jostles him to life and into a frenzy? Maybe some kind of sensory situation...whatever it is, it is unbearable. When he is in this mode, he is no longer able to follow the routine chart. I tell him simple things to do like "Put your underwear on" and he just sits there, even if he repeats it back to me. It seems as though he is in a daze that he cannot be shaken out of. "Put on your underwear" "Put on your underwear" "Put on your underwear" is what I chant throughout the house with "What are you supposed to be doing?" and then I start just saying "underwear", "underwear", "remember underwear" and it goes on and on, then we get those on and we move to the undershirt. It would just be quicker for me to dress him myself, but then what happens? He's 13 and can't dress himself for school?
*sigh*
So on top of all of this craziness, I also get to sit everynight and contemplate the things we didn't accomplish during the day that we should have...
..oh crap, we didn't do sensory today or
..oh crap, I bet he had milk today or
..oh crap, forgot to track his anxiety levels today or
..oh crap, we should have studied spelling tonight or
..oh crap, I should have had him do his callirobics or
..oh crap, I forgot to brush him this morning or...
...it just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and I know that is true with anyone who has kids, all of the "oh crap" moments, but I swear I feel like our "oh crap" moments are detrimentally affecting the progress we are trying to make with him.
so...blah.
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I know. (hugs)
ReplyDeleteThankfully, my son is doing really well with school this year, but mornings are so.very.hard.
Yesterday was award day at school and I had to leave after the morning program with him totally upset because he got a ribbon and not a backpack. *sigh* I know his teacher paid for not choosing him as a backpack award ALL afternoon. hee hee
Lisa@
All That and a Box of Rocks
I try to imagine your mornings. My mornings are difficult too, but I only have 2, AND I'm not working at NGS. So that puts me out of your league. Your right, we all have the oh crap moments. Don't beat yourself up, we can't be perfect every single day (gawd looks who's telling who here) Maybe trying something different is the answer, even if it's trying something different every now and then. I like to let the kids unwind after school. I'm thinking before dinner is the time for homework. It doesn't always happen, I don't always do it right. I guess that's why we get another tomorrow. love you
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Dont beat yourself up over the things you miss, or the things you cant control. its overwhelming, and mind boggling, and always seems like mo matter what you do theres never enough time, or enough patience, or enough focus to do it all. Just remember, you have "oh crap" moments because you're actually doing something, and that alone is a big deal. Youre one of the good ones, and frankly, if he could handle doing everything we are supposed to be doing with him, he probably wouldnt need it anymore!
ReplyDeleteand we still do the bathing routine at night... it takes her forever to decide to get dressed after a shower, and its not worth the agitation to make her do it in a timely manner. i don't know if its the relaxing of the water, heat, sound whatever, but i know the daze well.. when we HAVE to do a morning one, we just have to allow for 30 minutes of getting dressed if we're going to maintain an even keel. It is amazing how each kid can be so individual , and still be so similar.
ReplyDeleteI'll let you know if i find the magic bullet :)