"You can't catch a hard baseball in your mouth" ~Joseph age 10
Things that have started to upset Boy:
1)The kids yell at him because he laughs too loud. His solution? He does not understand why they do not realize that his loud laughing is a result of his Aspergers. I tried to explain to him that it could be a result of his Aspergers, but it is a behavior that he has the ability to control.
2)One of the kids tells him he's a "manial freak". He doesn't have a solution for this one and really, neither do I. This seems like pretty typical 7 year old behavior, but is he being called names because of his quirky aspergery things or what? My advice to him was for him to tell the kid that it was not a very nice thing to say...
3)He was not picked to be a student council rep from his class. His solution? He will raise his hand higher next year. To me this is an amazing breakthrough...he actually wants to join a team of other kids whose goal is not Star Wars, Batman, School House Rock related?! awesome!
Keep moving forward, keep moving forward, all we can do is keep moving forward...
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
thank you for your comments!
awww, thank you all for the comments! They really are helpful to read. Everyday is a journey to another day and another day and it is always changing. I know that if we weren't battling these issues it would just be some other mind warping situation that would make me feel like a failure! haha. I guess the only parents who feel like failures are the ones who are trying their hardest not to be failures.
Of course...it is so easy to beat yourself up and imagine that had you gotten in that extra 5 minutes of sensory yesterday he would not have scribbled a picture and would have stayed inside the lines for once, but that isn't realistic.
With the girls I am pretty certain they will figure out coloring in the lines and handwriting and learning to ride a bike, but with boy I know it is more difficult for him...the things of childhood don't come naturally to him.
But with all of that aside, I have to remember that there are other things that he does amazingly well that most other people are completely incapable of doing...the girls won't memorize full length movies, or remember exactly what they were wearing the first day it snowed last year, or be able to add or multiply any numbers together quickly because they've stored the answers to memory... I have to get my brain out of the mold of what a child *should* act like, be like, think like...we are all uniquely different. Gotta remember that!
Of course...it is so easy to beat yourself up and imagine that had you gotten in that extra 5 minutes of sensory yesterday he would not have scribbled a picture and would have stayed inside the lines for once, but that isn't realistic.
With the girls I am pretty certain they will figure out coloring in the lines and handwriting and learning to ride a bike, but with boy I know it is more difficult for him...the things of childhood don't come naturally to him.
But with all of that aside, I have to remember that there are other things that he does amazingly well that most other people are completely incapable of doing...the girls won't memorize full length movies, or remember exactly what they were wearing the first day it snowed last year, or be able to add or multiply any numbers together quickly because they've stored the answers to memory... I have to get my brain out of the mold of what a child *should* act like, be like, think like...we are all uniquely different. Gotta remember that!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
overwhelmed
I think things are becoming overwhelming at school for boy. I am going to email the teacher after this blog. It seems like he comes from school and just becomes out of control kid, which I think is a reaction to trying so hard to keep it together all day. It has to be a lot for a kid to try to bear.
So, because of the fact that he comes home and turns into a tangled mess of unfocused'ness, he cannot sit to work on homework and he melts down super easily. Tonight we are going to try to not do homework directly after school and instead let him have some playtime first. I now recall his therapist suggesting that immediately after school he goes to his room and gets to play with whatever he wants until he feels as though he has unwound himself enough, with no interruption from the girls. We have tried to implement it with him, but he insists that he does not need to do that. Today I am going to insist that he try it out.
Another thing that is becoming increasingly more difficult is the fact that our morning routines are completely out of control. We have a pretty simple routine that is charted out for him to follow and everything works well up until showertime -- he gets up, lets the dog out, eats breakfast and takes a shower...
...when he gets out of the shower, he gets out as a totally different kid! I wonder if it is the water that jostles him to life and into a frenzy? Maybe some kind of sensory situation...whatever it is, it is unbearable. When he is in this mode, he is no longer able to follow the routine chart. I tell him simple things to do like "Put your underwear on" and he just sits there, even if he repeats it back to me. It seems as though he is in a daze that he cannot be shaken out of. "Put on your underwear" "Put on your underwear" "Put on your underwear" is what I chant throughout the house with "What are you supposed to be doing?" and then I start just saying "underwear", "underwear", "remember underwear" and it goes on and on, then we get those on and we move to the undershirt. It would just be quicker for me to dress him myself, but then what happens? He's 13 and can't dress himself for school?
*sigh*
So on top of all of this craziness, I also get to sit everynight and contemplate the things we didn't accomplish during the day that we should have...
..oh crap, we didn't do sensory today or
..oh crap, I bet he had milk today or
..oh crap, forgot to track his anxiety levels today or
..oh crap, we should have studied spelling tonight or
..oh crap, I should have had him do his callirobics or
..oh crap, I forgot to brush him this morning or...
...it just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and I know that is true with anyone who has kids, all of the "oh crap" moments, but I swear I feel like our "oh crap" moments are detrimentally affecting the progress we are trying to make with him.
so...blah.
So, because of the fact that he comes home and turns into a tangled mess of unfocused'ness, he cannot sit to work on homework and he melts down super easily. Tonight we are going to try to not do homework directly after school and instead let him have some playtime first. I now recall his therapist suggesting that immediately after school he goes to his room and gets to play with whatever he wants until he feels as though he has unwound himself enough, with no interruption from the girls. We have tried to implement it with him, but he insists that he does not need to do that. Today I am going to insist that he try it out.
Another thing that is becoming increasingly more difficult is the fact that our morning routines are completely out of control. We have a pretty simple routine that is charted out for him to follow and everything works well up until showertime -- he gets up, lets the dog out, eats breakfast and takes a shower...
...when he gets out of the shower, he gets out as a totally different kid! I wonder if it is the water that jostles him to life and into a frenzy? Maybe some kind of sensory situation...whatever it is, it is unbearable. When he is in this mode, he is no longer able to follow the routine chart. I tell him simple things to do like "Put your underwear on" and he just sits there, even if he repeats it back to me. It seems as though he is in a daze that he cannot be shaken out of. "Put on your underwear" "Put on your underwear" "Put on your underwear" is what I chant throughout the house with "What are you supposed to be doing?" and then I start just saying "underwear", "underwear", "remember underwear" and it goes on and on, then we get those on and we move to the undershirt. It would just be quicker for me to dress him myself, but then what happens? He's 13 and can't dress himself for school?
*sigh*
So on top of all of this craziness, I also get to sit everynight and contemplate the things we didn't accomplish during the day that we should have...
..oh crap, we didn't do sensory today or
..oh crap, I bet he had milk today or
..oh crap, forgot to track his anxiety levels today or
..oh crap, we should have studied spelling tonight or
..oh crap, I should have had him do his callirobics or
..oh crap, I forgot to brush him this morning or...
...it just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and I know that is true with anyone who has kids, all of the "oh crap" moments, but I swear I feel like our "oh crap" moments are detrimentally affecting the progress we are trying to make with him.
so...blah.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
School House Rocking...
...a kick off the block, for our favorite School House, School House Rock!
Oh wow, School House Rock is back in full force as one of our obsessions...oh joy! Nonstop listening to the music, which at least we are on something educational so that is a bonus.
Handwriting is still such a huge issue for us, oy! Sensory therapy is helping, but we just really need to slow him down a lot. We are at sensory therapy right now doing homework until his therapist comes out and let me tell you...nightmarish! UGH!
To me the worse part of his aspergers is his inability to focus on homework!
Oh wow, School House Rock is back in full force as one of our obsessions...oh joy! Nonstop listening to the music, which at least we are on something educational so that is a bonus.
Handwriting is still such a huge issue for us, oy! Sensory therapy is helping, but we just really need to slow him down a lot. We are at sensory therapy right now doing homework until his therapist comes out and let me tell you...nightmarish! UGH!
To me the worse part of his aspergers is his inability to focus on homework!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
long time no post
"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peach of mind." ~Christian Larson
It has been quite a while since I have posted something on the blog. I think we have become overwhelmed in the chaos of the school year now that everyone is settled in to their work. All I know is I am exhausted!
Where to start with where we are at...
I am intensely dreading this Halloween season. I feel horrible forbidding the eating of chocolate in the house, but I know (and boy realizes too) what milk does to him and it is just impossible for him to function with milk in his system. I do let him "cheat" sometimes on the weekend, but we definitely pay for it after. It still amazes me what milk does to him. I think the things that he misses the most are mac-n-cheese and pizza. I have been searching for shredded milk-free cheese and cannot find it. I mentioned this to the sensory therapist and she suggested I buy the block of milk free cheese and....wait for it....shred it myself! DUH?! Seriously, why did I not think of that myself? Oh yeah, that's right because half the time I can't even remember my name or what day of the week it is.
Anxiety levels are very high lately and we are trying different ways of tracking that for him so his therapist can work through it with him, but he has anxiety over having to mark the anxiety chart that he has anxiety...this is my life. Today we played outside in the leaves and the kids next door were taking our leaves to their yards....anxiety ensued...
The sensory therapy is the best thing we have EVER done...ever...period. His OT is so amazingly kind and understanding and she really knows how to get through to him. She has been working on his handwriting, coordination, fine motor skills and I believe we are seeing some pretty good results. We really need to slow down his handwriting and coloring so we are working with Callirobtics, which is writing in patterns to classical music, to the beat of the classical music. The problem is that he tenses up when writing, looks really closely at the paper and moves quickly for fear of not being able to finish quickly enough. Gotta slow him down a few beats.
Friendships are still difficult for him. It breaks my heart to see him so stuck in his ways.
So, overall we have not had much progress to report on, but we are still working hard.
Newest obsession to report on -- School House Rock. This one is an obsession from about two years ago that is now making its way back around town. He listens to it nonstop and sings all of the song. I am a pretty huge fan of SHR so I'm happy to hear the music and dance to it while cleaning the house...in about a week I will be pulling my hair out to "I'm just a Bill", can't wait.
It has been quite a while since I have posted something on the blog. I think we have become overwhelmed in the chaos of the school year now that everyone is settled in to their work. All I know is I am exhausted!
Where to start with where we are at...
I am intensely dreading this Halloween season. I feel horrible forbidding the eating of chocolate in the house, but I know (and boy realizes too) what milk does to him and it is just impossible for him to function with milk in his system. I do let him "cheat" sometimes on the weekend, but we definitely pay for it after. It still amazes me what milk does to him. I think the things that he misses the most are mac-n-cheese and pizza. I have been searching for shredded milk-free cheese and cannot find it. I mentioned this to the sensory therapist and she suggested I buy the block of milk free cheese and....wait for it....shred it myself! DUH?! Seriously, why did I not think of that myself? Oh yeah, that's right because half the time I can't even remember my name or what day of the week it is.
Anxiety levels are very high lately and we are trying different ways of tracking that for him so his therapist can work through it with him, but he has anxiety over having to mark the anxiety chart that he has anxiety...this is my life. Today we played outside in the leaves and the kids next door were taking our leaves to their yards....anxiety ensued...
The sensory therapy is the best thing we have EVER done...ever...period. His OT is so amazingly kind and understanding and she really knows how to get through to him. She has been working on his handwriting, coordination, fine motor skills and I believe we are seeing some pretty good results. We really need to slow down his handwriting and coloring so we are working with Callirobtics, which is writing in patterns to classical music, to the beat of the classical music. The problem is that he tenses up when writing, looks really closely at the paper and moves quickly for fear of not being able to finish quickly enough. Gotta slow him down a few beats.
Friendships are still difficult for him. It breaks my heart to see him so stuck in his ways.
So, overall we have not had much progress to report on, but we are still working hard.
Newest obsession to report on -- School House Rock. This one is an obsession from about two years ago that is now making its way back around town. He listens to it nonstop and sings all of the song. I am a pretty huge fan of SHR so I'm happy to hear the music and dance to it while cleaning the house...in about a week I will be pulling my hair out to "I'm just a Bill", can't wait.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
@sensory therapy
At sensory therapy waiting for boy to be done. He loves coming here!!
I can't wait to see what they work on today.
October 11 - Walk Now For Autism @ The Palace sponsored by Autism Speaks -- checkin 10am
walk starts @ 12
I can't wait to see what they work on today.
October 11 - Walk Now For Autism @ The Palace sponsored by Autism Speaks -- checkin 10am
walk starts @ 12
Monday, September 21, 2009
another week, a new beginning
Yesterday was difficult. We had a fabulous day, but boy really had a hard time of it. I cannot quite figure out why. He may have had some milk this weekend, but not enough to cause the issues we saw yesterday....let me explain.
First of all, we had a super busy weekend, which probably did not help matters. It was busy and chaotic and anxiety filled. Friday we had a ton of running around to do and the kids worked on cleaning the basement for a playdate they were having Saturday...overall Friday wasn't too bad, just busy.
Saturday we had ballet, then a bbq at my Grandma's senior center...this induced high anxiety because boy was certain there would be roller coasters. He was worried up until the point where he could actually see there were no roller coasters set up in the parking lot. After that we went home and awaited the arrival of his playdate...somewhat of an anxiety inducing moment as he was worried he would not have enough time to do everything he had planned. The playdate was inside and they were loud and rowdy, which doesn't bother me, but usually puts him in an elevated mood...he becomes overly loud, overly rowdy, overly anxious, overly sensitive, overly unfocused...everything just becomes over the top. It is really hard to bring him back down in this situation.
So Saturday was a late night, perhaps he didn't sleep well...which brings us into Sunday. Sunday we went to Frankenmuth to celebrate FIL birthday. Frankenmuth is boy's most favorite place to go...ever...E V E R! We used to go overnight at least 4 times a year. There is a strict routine to a Frankenmuth visit...very strict routine and it involves spending the night. We haven't gone in quite a while because he became so set on the routine that it really wasn't fun for us anymore because we wanted to veer off of his path and that was absolutely not allowed. So, we planned a day trip to Frankenmuth for dinner and explained ahead of time that we could not possibly stay. He seemed ok with that and didn't even ask to stay while we were there....but he was in an "out of control" state the entire time.
By out of control I mean unfocused, loud, couldn't listen to us, easily frustrated, easily angry...he even had a meltdown at the table and started punching himself in the head. I do not think this was milk related. I think this was strictly "Aspergers" related. I think that he was out of his element because we were in a place where he had a routine, but we weren't able to do that routine because we weren't spending the night. I also think that he was overly excited to go there since it had been so long....overall it was a very hectic day. He couldn't stop saying "pee" and "poop", he couldn't stop himself from squawking, he couldn't stop himself from melting and hitting himself...just overall hectic.
So, where do we go from here? Is there a solution to making this type of situation better? Was there something I could have done to prevent or control? Or, will these things just happen?
What is my goal with anything that we are doing for him? I don't think it is logical to try to "fix" (goes along the same lines of "curing" his Aspergers, which again I hate the term!)....what is it I am trying to do?
...I sat and thought on that question for quite some time...
I believe my goal is to help him learn to deal with it. Teach him how to self regulate himself. I need to keep reminding myself of that..I need to teach him how to self regulate himself. I cannot always modify the family schedule to be less hectic for him (sometimes yes, but it's not feasible always) instead he needs to learn how to cope with changes. He needs to get to a point where he can understand what he is feeling and know to excuse himself to adjust what he is feeling if needed. I will be successful if I can help him with that.
I think the biggest or most difficult thing to deal with with an Aspie kid is the fact that there are so many areas that we need to work on...there's sensory and emotional well being and helping with the lack of friendships and anxiety and handwriting and fixations and unflexibility and noise sensitivity and transition issues and whatever comes up tomorrow ...as a parent it is overwhelming to know what area to start with....I think that is where I am at...I think I am trying to tackle his Aspergers as a whole instead of focusing on one area at a time...not sure what the best approach is though and I doubt anyone really has an answer to that...
First of all, we had a super busy weekend, which probably did not help matters. It was busy and chaotic and anxiety filled. Friday we had a ton of running around to do and the kids worked on cleaning the basement for a playdate they were having Saturday...overall Friday wasn't too bad, just busy.
Saturday we had ballet, then a bbq at my Grandma's senior center...this induced high anxiety because boy was certain there would be roller coasters. He was worried up until the point where he could actually see there were no roller coasters set up in the parking lot. After that we went home and awaited the arrival of his playdate...somewhat of an anxiety inducing moment as he was worried he would not have enough time to do everything he had planned. The playdate was inside and they were loud and rowdy, which doesn't bother me, but usually puts him in an elevated mood...he becomes overly loud, overly rowdy, overly anxious, overly sensitive, overly unfocused...everything just becomes over the top. It is really hard to bring him back down in this situation.
So Saturday was a late night, perhaps he didn't sleep well...which brings us into Sunday. Sunday we went to Frankenmuth to celebrate FIL birthday. Frankenmuth is boy's most favorite place to go...ever...E V E R! We used to go overnight at least 4 times a year. There is a strict routine to a Frankenmuth visit...very strict routine and it involves spending the night. We haven't gone in quite a while because he became so set on the routine that it really wasn't fun for us anymore because we wanted to veer off of his path and that was absolutely not allowed. So, we planned a day trip to Frankenmuth for dinner and explained ahead of time that we could not possibly stay. He seemed ok with that and didn't even ask to stay while we were there....but he was in an "out of control" state the entire time.
By out of control I mean unfocused, loud, couldn't listen to us, easily frustrated, easily angry...he even had a meltdown at the table and started punching himself in the head. I do not think this was milk related. I think this was strictly "Aspergers" related. I think that he was out of his element because we were in a place where he had a routine, but we weren't able to do that routine because we weren't spending the night. I also think that he was overly excited to go there since it had been so long....overall it was a very hectic day. He couldn't stop saying "pee" and "poop", he couldn't stop himself from squawking, he couldn't stop himself from melting and hitting himself...just overall hectic.
So, where do we go from here? Is there a solution to making this type of situation better? Was there something I could have done to prevent or control? Or, will these things just happen?
What is my goal with anything that we are doing for him? I don't think it is logical to try to "fix" (goes along the same lines of "curing" his Aspergers, which again I hate the term!)....what is it I am trying to do?
...I sat and thought on that question for quite some time...
I believe my goal is to help him learn to deal with it. Teach him how to self regulate himself. I need to keep reminding myself of that..I need to teach him how to self regulate himself. I cannot always modify the family schedule to be less hectic for him (sometimes yes, but it's not feasible always) instead he needs to learn how to cope with changes. He needs to get to a point where he can understand what he is feeling and know to excuse himself to adjust what he is feeling if needed. I will be successful if I can help him with that.
I think the biggest or most difficult thing to deal with with an Aspie kid is the fact that there are so many areas that we need to work on...there's sensory and emotional well being and helping with the lack of friendships and anxiety and handwriting and fixations and unflexibility and noise sensitivity and transition issues and whatever comes up tomorrow ...as a parent it is overwhelming to know what area to start with....I think that is where I am at...I think I am trying to tackle his Aspergers as a whole instead of focusing on one area at a time...not sure what the best approach is though and I doubt anyone really has an answer to that...
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